Poetrysmile21
Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 10
Location: FL
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 Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 12:03 am Post subject: Tebow-ism's |
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1. Urban Meyer has forbidden Tim Tebow from ever flexing both his biceps at the same time. The last time Tebow flexed, every coeds' top at the University of Florida miraculously rose at the exact same time. This caused two plane crashes, 96 fender benders and all classes were canceled at the university.
2. The Florida Education Council is rewriting all textbooks to replace references to the bubonic plague with the Tebonic plague.
3. Governor Jeb Bush is rumored to be suggesting that Tim Tebow be named the replacement for both Bobby Bowden at Florida State and Larry Coker at Miami. Tim Tebow would then be head coach at both schools at the same time.
4. Tim Tebow has had to use 14,223 bottles of hair gel this season because once he uses the bottle, there is a riot outside his apartment to get the rest.
Marie Antoinette once said to the masses, "Let them eat cake." Tim Tebow now says, "Let them use my hair gel."
5. Tim Tebow doesn't put popcorn in the microwave, he just stares at the kernels until they pop of their own accord under the piercing power of his gaze.
6. Joakim Noah and Tim Tebow are forbidden from ever being in a campus building with a covered roof at the same time for fear of the spontaneous combustion which would doubtlessly ensue.
7. Every time Tim Tebow goes on a date, the other girls on campus carry the girl he dated to Lake Alice wrapped in uncooked chickens and feed her to the alligators.
8. Word spread that Tim Tebow was thinking about getting a barbwire tattoo on his arm and they became cool again.
9. Once, Tim Tebow took out his mouthpiece and threw it into the stands. It sold the next day on eBay for $14 billion.
10. Tim Tebow once mentioned that he thought gondolas were cool. Now Florida is constructing a canal between his apartment and the football practice complex so that he can glide in comfort. Also, Chris Leak will be piloting the gondola in one of those striped T-shirts.
11. Tim Tebow is going to Halloween parties as himself. This means every man on Florida's campus will have the same Halloween costume this year.
Rest of the article is here...
http://www.sportsline.com/spin/story/9753860
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